F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I wrote this as a "comment" (read: dissertation) on my SIL's blog.
I haven't thought this deep in quite some time. I miss my peoples.
Anyway, on with the "show"

Friendship...
It's never been easy for me to "lose" a friend (voluntarily or otherwise) because I think I make friends easily. Even though it is a little hard for me to open up to new people, it doesn't take long for me to make a connection with someone once I have made that connection. Then, it sticks. Can't get rid of me. At least I can't get rid of you.

Not long ago, I had an epiphany about friendship, and very recently (last Tuesday, in fact) I had a confirmation about that epiphany. There are those in our lives who are not in our daily comings-and-goings, but can be called great friends. I've called them forever-friends. Ms. Green's story will call them "lifetime" friends. In my life, I know that I go on living and doing my daily thing without great ponderings of the goings-on in their lives. But there are some times that I'll get so consumed with a friend's daily life. For example: I wonder what Angel had for lunch; if she got to work on time; is she having a good day; does she feel like studying; what was her favorite book as a child; does she have wacky socks on today; does she remember the time when we did VBS at that church in Pineville and the storyteller who could cure insomnia... things that I would feel petty and insignificant just calling and asking... almost like I was fishing for attention and conversation. Sometimes I think I'm that desperate for the conversation. Anyway, my point and the lesson I learned: If your heart brings up someone to speak to; if you have a strong urge to call that friend, don't be afraid to call them. Because of that friendship bond, if you have the urge, the other person will also feel that same need.

If there were requirements for friendship, I think the only things I could bring to the table would be caring, a little wacky humor, and loyalty. I'm not so great with the proactive part of friendship, and I know this. I berate myself regularly for not "following through" with contacts to friends. I feel like I'm not "holding up my part of the bargain." Enough with the business-jargon. Friendship is not a business contract to be upheld. Friendship IS just a pair (or group) of flawed individuals with empty holes in the same places where others' offerings can fill those holes. (and I'm not talking about the cross-shaped hole)

The definition from webster.com is more specific than dictionary.com
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion

Definitions 1 and 4 are the working definitions for our discussion. 1a. and 4 most closely resemble the folks I surround myself with. Def. 1b. includes those "old friends" who are truly acquaintances. (a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly close friend) This could spin off a discussion of acquaintances, but that's for another day...

A few words pop out in my mind. Affection (tender attatchment). Esteem (value). Favored (preferred) Companion. "Affection (from Latin ad, and facere, meaning "to do something to") is an emotion that derives from the recognition of one's own values in the character of another." (from wikipedia) WOW! I recognize ____ in you that I posess myself. And that's where I draw your value/esteem from. Because I recognize that same-ness in you, I prefer to be in your company above others (esteem).

That's where a friend comes from, I guess.

I guess as for the not-doing-anything approach, even inaction constitutes an action. (Omission rather than commision.) I always read in magazine articles the Q&A about the friendship that has just fallen off the table. "Should I leave it alone or pursue it further." I never understood it when the "expert" says to slowly stop efforts to continue the relationship. I begin to agree with Mike: "I don't think you can write off a friend. If you could, wouldn't you wonder after if you could truly have been friends to begin with?"

I went to my 10-year HS reunion recently. It was the first time I'd spoken to the majority of those folks in that long time. Among the group were a few of my tried-and-true best friends from that season of my life. Because of who-knows-what, there had been a major opportunity for a write-off situation during the 10-year lapse. My forgiving and loyal nature never allowed it, however, in spite of evidence that the friendship would never revive. *the still small heart continued a faint tremble* I was pleasantly surprised at how easily we slipped back into our best-friend rhythm that weekend. The friendship will never be as strong as it was, but I'm glad I didn't write off my friend and give up. During the weekend, I was reaffirmed, however, about those "preferred companionships" stemming from "high regard" that have come to light in recent years...

It's gettin' deep. Gotta step out of this place before I suffocate. :-)
LAMY

Just a bunch of pictures you might like to see...

I'm a lemming

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Should we include states we've passed thru?
If that's the case, I'll include West VA and New Mexico!


create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Hi, all! I've missed you. I've had a great couple of weeks, though.
We visited w/ the "Joneseseses of Bryant*" (not to be confused with Miss Jones of West Lil' Rock) in Knoxville last weekend, and it was a blast. I'd never been there before, and the trip over there was not bad at all: about 5 1/2 hours, not including stops. We ate hibachi Friday night, then took off to see the underground cave with the underwater lake. Yes, you read it right. I said it wrong. But I was saying it wrong all weekend! I'm goofy that way, I guess. The cave was pretty cool, except for the fact that I was a lil freaked out a couple of times. I guess I have bad luck in caves. The first time was in a coal mine in PA, where a mild "demonstration" of a cave-in had me squealing over a mechanical hand. GAH! Gerald loves to tell that story. Ask him.

*(city has been edited. thx, angel)

Anyway, the cave was pretty neat, but Angel says the cave formations in Arkansas are prettier. Well, I guess we'll just hafta go over and visit one day. How's May-ish sound for you, Angel? Is that a good time? ;-)

After the cave we PIGGED at the Dinner Bell then drove to the OTHER side of Knoxville for Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg where we visited the Ripley's Aquarium. Hey... I've got a "believe it or not" for ya..... "Believe it or not, RIPLEYS must OWN Gatlinburg." HAHA. Seriously. I'm surprised we didn't see Ripley's Post Office or Ripley's Pizza or Ripley's McDonalds. (Am I hungry?) The aquarium was neat. I've been to others that had more "different" fish to see, but the coolest part of this one was the 300-something-foot TUNNEL UNDER WATER that let you move through the huge tank and have the fish swim around you. I got a couple of good pics of sharks and such. (Yes, Angel and I had to recite the "nice shark" motto: ... Fish are Friends. Not Food!) Also, there was a HUGE coral-reef tank just teeming with the most beautiful fish I've ever seen. It was floor-to-ceiling and at least 20-30 feet long. I'd love to have an aquarium like that in my house!

Then, it was off to the outlets in Pigeon Forge, which reminded me of Fort Walton or Destin without all that sand and ocean stuff. There was even a store like Wings with more of a "mountain" theme, obviously. When I say we shopped @ the outlets, I mean we skuuurrrrrked into the parking lot at 8:40 and spotted Eddie Bauer Outlet (next to K-B Toys for Angel) and ran in to find all the things we didn't know we needed. We both got pants. woo hoo. We ate at a Chop House Restaurant and I had a YUM Steak Ceasar Salad. Holey Moley it was good! Then, back to Knoxville to sleep. We got up the next day and ate the worst hotel breakfast ever. When in doubt, don't do the buffet. Not worth the $$

So... Pup-Date... Brindle stayed with his foster family over the weekend and they had a great time. I'm glad they were able to hang with him some more. He had fun, too! We started Puppy Preschool last Monday; I need to learn so much more about him, and this is one of the best ways. The other puppy (and his mommy) live in our neighborhood! Now Brindle and Sam (Sam Smith, actually!) can play together after school. Brindle can almost always sit on command, and I know he knows his name. He's quiet in his crate after only a minute of sad "where's my people" whining. This will get better with time. We've got to start using the crate SO MUCH MORE because it'll help us w/ potty training which isn't going as well as I'd hoped, but he IS still a puppy. (whew! Run-on sentence!)

Today we have the remnants of Hurricane Ernesto (gotta say it w/ the accent!) parked over the house, so walking the puppy in his FIRST storm is not fun. I'm not exactly sure how it's going to work out, but I'll be heavily relying on the crate to help me. It's supposed to pour all weekend. Yippee. So much for a blowout for Labor Day. More like a washout!

Wow. I'm chatty. No caffeine. Just quiet puppy, which is nice.
I'll go take him out again, then we'll both turn in for the night. SLEEP TIGHT!

Milestone #1

We bought the crate and an exercise pen yesterday. The little blond lump is Baxter - he looks alot like Brindle's littermate Saffron. (Remember, Brindle was Basil initially; their mama is Rosemary. Get it?)

Gerald and I got out a little today. We ate @ Chilis, got a water bottle for his x-pen for daytime, and an additional baby crate (cuz the lil' houdini can climb!), and did a lil grocery shopping. When we got back - as expected- he was whining for our attention, but we wouldn't acknowledge him until he settled down, which was about 5 minutes. It broke my hear to hear it, but I know it's teaching him that his crying isn't what brings us back to him. Tonight should be "fun." :-)

Anyway, we're working to get Brindle to go into the crate. We put Baxter in, pet him and give him lots of "good boy's" while Brindle looks on. Then, Mr. Jealousy wants in on the action, so he jumps into the crate, so he can get his own "good boy's." I'm about to wake him up from his nap so he doesn't sleep too much this afternoon. It's just him and me tonight. WHEEEE!

I'm so much in love with him. He makes me smile in so many ways. :-)